Co-parenting And Dealing With Abusive Ex Spouses
It’s an unfortunate truth about custody disputes that one, or sometimes both, parties involved are abusive, non cooperative or vindictive to the other parent in order to get what they want in court or simply exert power over the other person. If you are in the middle of a divorce and child custody case with your ex, or dealing with the aftermath and potential return visits to the court room, there are ways to still maintain your position and combat an abusive ex in court. Most of the time, when someone is trying to manipulate you, especially in a family legal situation, they want to get a response from you that works to their advantage. It’s not uncommon for a mother or father to make up stories of verbal or physical abuse or neglect to make them look bad in front of the judge so they grant them custody instead of the other parent. Here are some strategies to use in a situation like this.
- Inaccurate Testimonies. Making up a story for the judge about the mother or father is not only immoral but it’s also bad for the child to experience. If they hear that their mother or father is abusive and a whole bunch of negative stories are thrown around, this plants seeds of doubt in a child’s mind. The last thing a parent needs is for their children to lose faith in them. If you’re the target of false accusation or your ex is verbally coercing you into signing things you don’t want to sign or threatening to take the child and go to another state if you don’t give them what they want, timing is key. If you’re a father and you haven’t legally established paternity, get that done. If there’s no proof the child is yours, your ex is more likely to get what they want. If you’re a mother fighting against an abusive ex husband or boyfriend, take the necessary steps to protect yourself such as restraining orders, documentation of past abuse etc.
- Recurring Issues Later On. With abusive or vindictive ex’s, sometimes going to court one time and getting a court order isn’t going to work, it might require several trips to court; this means more time, more money and more heart ache. If your ex keeps bringing stuff into court, you need to be prepared to back up anything they say about you. Most of the time, the judge will not keep seeing the same case over and over again but it’s also not uncommon for parents to experience issues with their ex for months or even years. To prevent this from happening, get the best custody and parenting plan you can to ensure that problems don’t arise down the line. Getting full legal and physical custody ensures that you have all the decision making power and visitation or any other arrangement is under your discretion.
It can be hurtful to have the mother or father of your child doing things behind your back to deliberately sabotage you and how you get to spend your time with your kids. If you have any feeling that this could happen to you in the future with your ex, it’s a great idea to have solid proof or documentation of past events, financial records or medical records to use in your defense as to why you should get full custody. The goal shouldn’t be to remove one of the parents from the child’s life. The judge will make a decision that’s in the best interest of the child. It’s proven that a child needs both parents in their life for maximize their well being. Knowing this, any judge will be able to see one parent is trying to muscle out the other for the wrong reasons if the evidence is there for them to see.
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- Talking To Your Ex Once You Are Separated (aboutthechildrenblog.com)
- How to Avoid a Manipulative Ex in the Court Room (aboutthechildrenblog.com)
- How Does A Judge Make Decisions with Child Custody Cases? (aboutthechildrenblog.com)