Continued Tips on How to Win a Child Custody Case in Family Court

How to represent yourself in court and WIN custody of your child

If you’re a parent trying to get custody of your child it’s a good idea to know how to present yourself in front of the judge, what to expect and what the best strategy is for achieving your goal in family court. Most of the time, parents automatically seek full custody of their child because they feel that the other parent is unfit to take care of the child in question. This sometimes is the case unfortunately. However, what all parents seeking custody out there need to know is that the judge is concerned with making a ruling that is in the best interests of the child; a parent seeking full custody of their child does not always reflect this. Taking this into account before you step in front of the judge and showing them that you’re trying to make a decision that reflects the child’s best interests instead of condemning your ex and demanding full custody will show them that you’re trying to do what’s right. Before you go into family court, think about these things:

Who’s better than who? In most cases, you’ll find that it is difficult to petition the court to remove one of the parents from a child’s life, especially if both parents were involved in that child’s life up until your court date. It is necessary to have both parents in a child’s life in order to produce the greatest amount of overall well being for the child. Statistically speaking, having an absent mother or father can cause issues later in life and can cause children to act out in their adolescent years. Also, one parent trying to prove that the other is not fit to raise your child can be extremely difficult. The judge would have to see proof that they are an alcoholic or violent or mentally unstable to make such a ruling.black_mom_child_laughing

Encouraging a healthy lifestyle. Judges will take notice of parents who take into account the psychological well being of their children. Whether you’re trying to get full custody or half time shared custody, showing the court that you’re taking into consideration the child’s school and activity schedule, eating  and sleeping habits and all the other facets of their lives is going to show the judge that you don’t just want to bad mouth the mother or father of the child.

Be a supportive parent. It looks good, and is good, when parents are in favor of sharing custody and maintaining a relationship, even if it is just a working relationship, with the other parent. This acknowledgement of the need for both parents shows that you care more about the child than your feelings about your ex. Having a parenting plan or some kind of strategy worked out is a great thing to have to show the judge that you’ve been giving this a lot of thought. If you don’t have one written up, show the court that you openly want to establish a parenting plan to map out a schedule for what nights they stay with the mother or father, who takes the child to school, contingency plans for emergencies etc. Anger and negative feelings towards the other parent cloud your judgment and make people say and do things they wouldn’t do under normal circumstances. Sometimes this can be difficult if the reason for the two of you separating wasn’t the most pleasant of occurrences. Keeping a cool head and maintaining your composure not only shows the judge that you’re on the level but it also proves it to yourself and your child that you care about what’s best for the family.

Getting you and parents like yourself prepared to go to family court and be successful is one of our highest priorities. Make sure to contact us if you do need immediate help and would like discuss your situation.

Click here to learn more at www.AboutTheChildren.org

or Call Us (800) 787 4981

Disclaimer: aboutthechildren.org and aboutthechildrenblog.com are not a law firm or attorneys. We do not provide legal advice or legal counsel. The information discussed on this and related content is for informational purposes only and is public knowledge. The circumstances and facts discussed do not apply to all situations. Every situation is different.

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Posted in Child Custody, Child Visitation, Children, Courtroom Preparation, Family, Joint Custody
80 comments on “Continued Tips on How to Win a Child Custody Case in Family Court
  1. I believe it is important to pick your battles. Sometimes we are angry and/or bitter that we try to do things in the courtroom based on how we are feeling rather than what is truly necessary. I wanted full custody simply because I wanted it. My lawyer explained to me that it really wasn’t worth a fight since I would be the custodial parent and joint custody was fine. While full custody does sound lovely as you are actively going through the divorce, is it really worth the battle in most cases? Speaking from my own experience, not really. In day to day life post divorce, my ex isn’t looking to chime in on every single thing. In my opinion, the more you try to restrict, the more they are going to want. Like anything else in life.

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  24. Jennifer says:

    I have two children with my ex. Our agreement now is 80/20, in his favor. However I submitted a modification to have more time, and a few other things to be modified and the judge dismissed it bc he has a lawyer and she submitted paperwork to get it dismissed. However my kids are in need of their mother, and he will not allow me to have them any more than I do. I was told to resubmit a modification and put in there that I want more parenting time with my children only. Is this the best way to go about it? And what should I go in there with that will def help me get my kids? Their father emotionally abuses them but I have been told it is impossible to prove that! I have no money to get a lawyer and have no choice but to do this alone! My oldest is getting emotionally scared from this and I don’t know how to help her

    • Hi Jennifer,

      Is he withholding visitation from you? If so this can be something to mention. Keep in mind we are not a law firm so do not consider any of this legal advice, but general information. Typically, ways to prove abuse are with photos, video and audio recordings, eye witnesses, or writing samples. However, if you do want more visitation and you live within a close distance to your children, usually a judge can grant more time. As long as you haven’t already filed another motion, we can look into helping you with this situation. I believe you submitted your information to us directly, so you should receive a call from one of our advocates today to discuss this. We look forward to speaking with you Jennifer!

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  73. themba says:

    The mother of my child is staying with another guy and the last time I went to see my boy the guy told me that he is going to kill me that got me wondering .so my question is is it possible to apply for care/custody of my child with that statement because I feel that my child is not safe living with a guy who threatened to kill me, so what are my chances of getting care/custody of my son N:B my son is only 6 months old

    • Hi Daniel, this is an excellent question that needs to be addressed as quickly as possible. Your child’s safety is the most important thing in all this. If for any reason you feel that your child is in an unsafe environment, you have a responsibility as a parent to get them out of that situation. It seems like the person your ex is living with is not providing a safe environment and may be a violent person, and you definitely don’t want your child around someone like that. In a situation like this, if you can’t reconcile with the mother of the child, taking the issue to court is one way to ensure that your child’s needs are met and that they’re in a safe place. We’re not a law firm and can’t give you legal advice on this subject, but what you really need is a court order signed by a judge to make anything permanent happen. Please contact us to see if we can help you through this process if you intend to take this to court. We look forward to assisting you with this.

      (800) 787-4981

  74. Caroline says:

    I have a toddler daughter, the father of which i was never married to and reside in the State of California. Despite her father being on the birth certificate, as the unwed mother, do I still have full legal and physical custody of our daughter? Or would I have to file something in court to establish this? I have read numerous sources stating unwed mothers in California automatically gain that right when giving birth, and just wanted to confirm this, and whether or not I should file for custody or if there is no need to since I am an unwed mother in California. Please advise, thank you.

    • Hi Caroline, good question. We’re not a law firm so we can’t council you, legally, in terms of what your rights are. But it sounds like you’ve done some of your own research on the subject. Getting a court order stating that you have full custody is a great way to enforce your rights as the primary parent and caregiver of your child. You need to ask yourself some questions about this too. Do you want to the father in the child’s life? Do you want to split custody with him if you do? Are you seeking child support? If you’re looking to file for custody, give us a call or email us to speak with one of our representatives about how we can help you get the process started.

      (800) 787-4981

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